New Movie Reviews & Film Reviews.
The Ice Pirates (1. Oh George Lucas, what did you bring upon us with your earth- shattering movie of 1. The answer to that is of course an absolute multitude of knock- off's, clones, wannabes and homages. This long forgotten oddity is what you might call a very light- hearted, tongue- in- cheek [i]Star Wars[/i] knock- off. The plot takes place in the distant future, presumably in a galaxy far far away, where water has become an extremely scarce and valuable resource (not too original eh). In fact H2. 0 is so valuable that its actually used as a form of currency in ice cube form.
Never judge a book by its cover. Especially when the book is a giant wall of ice. Despite its fairly bland appearance (ice is ice is ice), the Wall has far more up. HDMOVIESSITE Direct Download Full Movie Free Latest,New MP4,MKV,AVI for free. Get top most popular hollywood,bollywood films,Tv shows without any cost or paying.
Naturally only one planet is not affected by this, Mithra, home of the evil Templars. And of course they want to keep it this way ensuring their dominance over the galaxy. But as expected there are space pirates that battle the Templars for their control of the water. One such band of pirates (led by Jason, Robert Urich) stumble across a Princess whilst trying to pinch the watery cargo from one Templar ship. In turn they also discover that this Princesses father is thought to have discovered a planet with water, thing is he has also disappeared. So the Princess hires the pirates to find her father and hopefully the watery planet.
Download free full unlimited movies! There are millions of movies, videos and TV shows you can download direct to your PC. From Action, Horror, Adventure, Children. War! You know what it is good for? Stories of unfathomable badassery, that's what. Over the years, we at Cracked have gathered a formidable collection of these. SCI FI Channel is now Syfy, but you can still get access to all your favorite SCI FI Channel content right here. Syfy features science fiction, drama, supernatural.
On their tail are the Templars who do not want this secret being discovered. OK so the first thing I have to point out is, this is quite literally a film about pirates in space. The movies title isn't just there to look and sound cool.
The heroes literally steal ice, and they are all literally pirates complete with cutlasses, wide belts with big fat belt buckles, cavalier type boots, and poet shirts with lacing down the front. This whole pirate look is blended in with the more typically cliched futuristic sci- fi look.
On one hand a shabby, used and weather beaten universe. On the other hand shiny uniforms and ships (basically [i]Mad Max[/i] and [i]Star Wars[/i]). Interestingly they also throw in some medieval fashions in there too. Yep the Templar foot soldiers (on- board ships) appear to wear medieval knight attire such as full body chain mail etc.. Now despite how the movie may come across with its obvious similarities to other space set fantasies in its poster and trailer, this movie isn't really for kids. OK sure there are lots of childish elements like the various silly robots, the slapstick etc..
Get exclusive film and movie reviews from THR, the leading source of film reviews online. We take an honest look at the best and worst movies Hollywood has to offer. Action heroes need to overcome obstacles before they kick all of the asses presented to them in chronological order. After all, their victories need to feel like they.
But this movie does have some moments of violence, gore, sex and umm.. Let me be clear, this isn't an R/1. There is a very wet and somewhat in depth softcore sex scene. There are a few scenes of people losing limbs complete with blood. One of the pirates (Zeno, Ron Perlman) loses his hand early on. In one of the more shocking sequences the sexy female pirate (Maida, Anjelica Houston) gets into a sword fight with some bounty hunter fellow and cuts his head off!
Its actually quite unexpected and there are no cuts, you see it come right off. And yes in one sequence it is shown that the Templars turn prisoners into slaves by cutting of their balls with a set of robotic steel jaws. I didn't really get the whole eunuch slave thing. They go through the process of having their balls cut off (and a lobotomy as well apparently), and come out afterwards with white hair and eyebrows? I guess the shock of having your balls bitten off by a steel trap could be the reason why your hair turns white; but when they are all lined up to be inspected (in white lycra catsuits) its quite clear that these eunuchs still have a lunchbox. One potential buyer even comments on a slaves lunchbox, but surely they shouldn't have lunchboxes?
Anyway what space fantasy is complete without a generic desert planet or desert scene. Well don't fret because of course this movie has one of those. Its actually one of the more interesting looking locations, just a shame we don't spend much time there. For some reason desert terrain always looks good on camera, it always looks authentic and suits fantasy films perfectly. I always liked this part when I was a kid, I think it was that [i]Mad Max[/i]- esque battering ram with huge wheels. This little action sequence is probably the best in the movie despite being very brief. Some nice explosions, a few stunts, a bad guy getting run over and crushed under one of the huge wheels, cool stuff.
Anyway what space fantasy is complete without generic scantily clad, female amazonian warriors. Well don't fret because of course this movie has some of them too. They are all highly sexy, they are all very scantily clad, they are all seemingly submissive to their male leader (phew!), and they all seemingly hate outsiders..
Yes you guessed it, it isn't long before our hero gets restrained in a very hot and steamy situation after the amazonians wrestle him to ground. Oh no! please don't straddle me and wrap your legs around my face, scantily clad sexy ladies! This movie seems to have an obsession with body parts too because the male character we meet in this location (Wendon, Bruce Vilanch) appears to be just a head. Presumably another robot but I'm not actually sure, but its another opportunity for a head to roll around. Anyway what space fantasy is complete without a sequence set in a smokey, scummy space bar complete with aliens, space mercs, bounty hunters, space whores, ruffians.. The movie is a bit jumbled overall in hindsight, there are many many ideas being thrown around from many sources. Watch Bombora: The Story Of Australian Surfing Download Full. Its like the director was overwhelmed and couldn't decide which ideas to rip- off, so he did them all.
Hell there's even an 'Alien' rip- off (homage?) subplot with this little worm thing that hatches out of an egg and slithers amok on the ship. At one point this thing bursts out of the crews turkey dinner. Turns out its space herpes, which I'm guessing was suppose to be a crude joke at the time, but now falls totally flat. This subplot simply goes nowhere despite it running for most of the movie. Its just there as a joke.
The effects are also a very mixed bag. There are one or two matte painting shots with live action foregrounds that look really good (and familiar). Some of the sets and props are well designed and built; some look reasonably authentic as if they could actually work. The spaceship/space effects are pretty poor though, considering this came along way after 'Star Wars' its a bit shameful really. Then you have the various robots which include actual real robots of the era that do fit in quite well, but were limited in movement. The bulk of the robots are men in suits and very hokey.
Recent Posts